Thank you for your valuable advice. I agree that I can't take this in and out thing much longer. I agree that I deserve better. But I haven't given up hope yet that one day he will be that "better". Not like in the first week but a new person. But I do know that I have to protect myself and still enjoy life outside of his alcohol problem world.

I want to do the right thing, not being needy or enabling but I still have to tell him that I need some answers. I'm not asking for much right now. I know he can't give much at this time. I hope he will answer. So far he answered but avoided to answer the relationship question.

Extra slow. Yes, I feel it instinctively too.
He actually offered friendship after one bad fight. When I refused and after we talked he said we should see how it goes. In one of his last emails before he went home he told me that everything was in the air. He sounded very messed up and lost. All that time he kept insisting that he loved me and once he asked if it was possible to hate and love at the same time. I told him yes. He told me I was good for him but that sometimes he hated me for being right, that one day he loved me and the next he hated me and he didn't understand.

I can take it extra slow if I know we are in a relationship. I need this "safe" environment.
If not and he has sex with other women, or if he chooses another girlfriend, I would be too hurt and I would have waisted my time. Heck even if he doesn't I will start to imagine it since he would be free. Some people can cut someone loose and get back together after dating other people. I can't.

I can be patient and take care of myself, see if he's serious with rehab and us, but not as a friend. That's why I need to push him a little. I'm not asking for plans, for definite answers, I just need to know if we are in a relationship. I've been single for 6 years so a few months more or less waiting is ok.
I wasn't looking for a relationship when I met him but I guess I was ready for one.

He has deleted or doesn't use the profiles he has on social networks (almost empty profiles anyway). He never goes on any chat.

So your friend couldn't change in the end?