You're exactly right, Dexter. It IS a bad reason to kill yourself, to make others feel bad. I think I said that because I just feel so unwanted and unloved right now, I just wanted the other people in my life to give me a reason to live, to show that they DO still care. Everyone is so busy these days, and I guess even a quick phone call to let me know they're still around is too much.
I'm still working on those reasons now, reasons to live. Believe or not, I still do have dreams of the future, I just need to find a way around this rough spot first.
I made a phone call MYSELF this morning, and I think I may have found a happy ending to at least ONE of my problems. I'll need to wait and see, still praying for the best. My survival depends on it.