YES! I HATE going out for anything although I will go out (alone) to pick up take-out. But I order as much as I can online and leave my room/dorm as little as possible. But like you, I also know I need people in my life. Do you know why you don't like people? For me, socializing is just burdensome. I have a little (or a lot, depending on who you ask) social anxiety so I'm always trying to think of the right things to say. Going out to brunch with friends is a chore and I feel like I need to "rest" before and after so a simple 1-2 hour brunch because a whole half-day ordeal for me. Lately, I've been making an effort to socialize with the tiny network I have because I know that I need people in my life and it's good for me, but I can relate to feeling like it's a chore.

I have traits of BPD-- not the full blown illness, which sounds like I may be similar to you in that way? Have you communicated any of this to your partner? I'm actually the opposite in that sense-- I prefer to have one person, like a boyfriend, who I get super clingy with and spend all my time with. Of course, half the relationship is screaming and fighting and unhealthy turmoil but I like the security (not sure if that's the right word) of having someone to count on. But I haven't been in a relationship for like 2-3 years.