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Originally Posted by ajbpdljhsk
Coleychi, I can totally relate to what you said, especially about your parents. Mine are the same. They are practically doing everything for me and I don't know if it's my fault or theirs. I have no perspective and that bothers me so much. I know I should be trying harder and doing better but how can I be motivated when my parents are the ones experiencing all the motivation for me? I know they want what's best for me and that they're doing that they can, but at the same time, I just do not have space to breathe. They don't trust me, and I don't know whose to blame for that.
They do not know about my SI--I would literally die if they found out. Literally. Die. They're extremely judgmental people it's insane.
But anyways, my parents are a whole different issue that will hopefully improve when I graduate and get out of here. Thanks again guys.
- AJ
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Yup!! I can relate to that. My goals were my parents goals for a very long time and, as a dutiful, people-pleasing daughter, I always did what I thought they wanted. It wasn't until I spiraled into depression-- and even a few years after-- that they became more flexible.
My relationship with my mom is extremely codependent but it's something we began to work on 2 years ago and started looking at again this past summer. My parents are trying to allow me to navigate the world for myself and do what I want/what will make me happy... but the problem is, after 21 years of doing what they want, I can't divorce my own goals from theirs. And I still feel indebted to them/obligated to graduate from college. It's hard because as much as my parents were trying to protect me and help me live the life they thought was best, I'm now unhappy and unable to make decisions for myself.
I'm sorry your parents don't trust you. When I was 16.. until I was about 19 or 20, I hid a lot from my parents. I wouldn't let them know I was feeling depressed until I was suicidal or shoving pills down my throat and they were always blindsided and, in a way, hurt. Since being more open (and through some family therapy), my parents attitude and treatment of me has changed. They're less inclined to tell me what to do (we're working on eliminating the word "should" from their vocabularies) although I know that everything they do/did was done with good intentions. Have you ever considered family therapy or being more open about how you're feeling? Your parents' reactions might surprise you