MKAC: that post you linked is extraordinary. Almost poetic in its exploration of relational therapy. Maybe not the best ABC kind of explanation of the process, but so fun to read. I could feel back to my own experiences in therapy as I read it.

I'm mid-work, so I can't vouch for how things go from start to finish, and I can only speak to the kind of therapy I've been doing.

In my experience, most of my sessions are me talking: about what I'm feeling, what's going on in my life (not so much day to day stuff, but the big themes), some of my history and how it is reflected in my current issues. Meanwhile, T may ask a question to clarify, occasionally make an observation, or present an alternative way to see something I may be missing the point on. She calls my attention to where in my body I am feeling things. But primarily, she listens, and... feels me. She gauges my affect, my tone, my body language, my breathing.

Especially in the beginning, this was more superficial, and reflective, and perhaps more intellectual. But as time went on, and she got more familiar with me, and I with her, our sessions became functional on two levels: conversational inquiry, and this deep, energetically connected, almost synergistic union between us. I could feel her feeling me, if that makes any sense at all. In a way, I felt--emotionally and physically--her joining me inside myself, giving me a feeling of security, connection, and love.

Now, my issues are largely oriented around dysfunctional attachment and the fact that, in order to get anything from my mother, I had to sacrifice my needs to hers. The process of my T creating a deep connection with me, much like a caregiver to an infant (and I'm just now learning how not to feel creepy saying stuff like that!), in conjunction with my adult self going piece by piece through my problems and working them out intellectually, has worked wonders on me. And I mean in a life-changing, world-shaking, self-creating way.

I see the process as this: she provides the emotional safety and connection, I provide the exploration and reporting, and together we create a sort of primordial soup which nurtures the growth of my new way of being. The knitting of my psychological bones happens in the dark, inside me, beyond my conscious control. In my experience, she doesn't "do" anything to me, there is no formulaic procedure or secret plan she follows behind the curtain, like a false wizard. I never feel manipulated or "worked." In fact, my awareness of what's going on has been part of what's helped me change. And the single most important ingredient has been my willingness to let her in. Without that, without trust and letting my guard down, I don't think I could have healed in the way I have.

Conversation, revelation, awareness, trust, love. That's what the process is to me.

YMMV. Sorry about the long post. It's how I roll.