First, some background: I've been depressed for 7 years now, and this past weekend was admitted into a psychiatric hospital from Friday night to Sunday morning because I had threatened to commit suicide. While there, I was completely ignored by the staff: they would do their rounds every 15-20 minutes to make sure I hadn't killed myself, but other than that, they didn't do anything. The doctor there diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and PTSD (which I discovered on my discharge papers; not by anything anyone said to me). I am not suffering from PTSD, for one. But then they never told me what to do after I left. So I made an appointment with my regular therapist, and I have seen her twice since (on Tuesday and on Wednesday).

I had to take time off of work in order to be able to live normally again. It seems that the night I almost committed suicide was a breaking point, and I haven't been able to get my emotions under control yet. Every day since, I've had a panic attack, and I've had to take time off of work. But my therapist hasn't done anything to help me, at least I don't feel like she has. She had me look at a worksheet out of a child's book about anger. The idea was to circle the ways you let out your anger and put an X through the ways you don't use. I told her I don't use any of them; I don't let out my anger at all. She then had me read a paper, again out of a child's book, about "Brain Channels," and how if we're on the "Stormy Channel" (depression, low self-esteem, anxiety), then we need to change the channel. She asked me if I keep a journal, and I said no. The past couple of days I've actually been trying to write in a journal, but every time I do that, I become suicidal, and the other night I ended up writing a suicide note.

She also seems to have preconceived ideas about me, since she used to see both of my parents, and it's been made clear to me that my parents don't know me that well (which is adding to all of my stress).

I understand that therapy takes time to work, but it doesn't feel like we're working on anything. She didn't give me anything to think about or try and improve, she didn't give me any "goal" to try and reach for until the next session aside from a stupid little contract that said I wasn't going to kill myself. Should I be doing something differently to try and get this therapy to work? Or is it more on her end right now? I've tried searching for self-help methods, but they always end up with those stupid, "do things you used to enjoy, even if you don't really want to," advice columns. I already do things I enjoy, just to distract myself. I have to go back to work before I see her again, and I don't know how I'm going to manage without having a panic attack.

I apologize for such the long read, I guess I started ranting a bit.

But my basic point is, am I doing something wrong on my end of the therapy? I know therapy is work, but I don't feel like she's giving me anything to work with or work on. Would it be okay for me to ask her to see me more than just once a week? I don't feel like once a week is enough. And what can I do before our next session to try and lessen this building feeling of anxiety and these suicidal thoughts?