Hello,
I'm new to this also, in fact this is my very first post. I was reading through the posts and trying to decide if I was ready to post something about myself. Your post caught my attention because I feel the exact same way about a lot of the stuff you're going through so you're definetely not alone, especially when it comes to the guilt of being depressed while you're raising children. Most of the time I put on a smile and hide how I truly feel and I concentrate on how I would like to feel. I hide my depression from my husband because I don't want to burden him with dealing with me. The only problem is if I keep it all inside I end up exploding. For example, I had to work on New Year's Eve and the next day my husband told me he was upset for not calling him at midnight to say happy New Year. I told him that I was really busy at work, but I called him as soon as I had the chance. He persisted and said I should have made more of an effort. I ended up crying for almost two days straight and feeling so alone in the world. I also know how you feel about feeling like in no one likes you because I feel the same way. I don't usually open up at all to people I work with and I carry a distrust for people. Anyways, I think we have a lot in common based on your post. Hopefully we'll be able to get help and give help through these posts.