Thread: Scars
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Old Jun 28, 2004, 07:27 PM
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lenjan lenjan is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2004
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My scars often disgust me. I look at them and think "how stupid ARE you, anyway?" that I would resort to something like that. They make me a little angry, too, because nobody ever takes them seriously or as an indication that I might be a little (!) overwhelmed with things and need help.

I don't hide them, though. There's something to looking at them as battle wounds. I self-injured around Mother's Day (very triggering time for me on a couple of fronts) for the first time in a year or so ... and I look at the thin, barely noticeable scar that I allowed myself before I made myself stop, and think "WIMP." All my mental health pros are going to blow it off because it's hardly noticeable. It's like you have to go deep enough to require stitches to get them to pay attention. This one is so insignificant that it could reasonably be passed off as a cat scratch.

People stare sometimes, but I let them. Who cares what they think? My scars represent a lot of pain. When I'm in "reasonably healthy" mode, I feel bad about them, but most of the time I just look at them as things I did to deal with overwhelming pain/anger/fear and don't rule out adding to my collection. (I'm a mess, I know.)

Candy

<i>There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed. -- Peter Sellers</i>
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