Quote:
Originally Posted by MdngtRain
I've found there's points in my depression (like now) when the thought of added stress on top of feeling the way I do makes me shudder. The thing with a recovery from depression: you don't feel as tired and overwhelmed. The pressures of daily life are not as bad as they seem when you are depressed. I used to work full time, have a social life, and still take time to myself. At this moment, any of that sounds overwhelming... once the depression gets better, it doesn't seem so scary to be living. I've been on both sides more than once. It doesn't make you a fraud, it's just that the level of depression is still pretty high. Right now, I can't picture a productive life for myself because I'm in the middle of this fog. If the fog we not around, I could probably do pretty well for myself (and have in the past). Three truck is to keep struggling till the fog lifts... (hugs) it's ok to feel like you are feeling.
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thanks for this
i think i'm feeling illegitimate because i feel like i'm kind of resisting the change... I've had a couple of good-ish/productive days but feel so depleted/drained and it's building up. so when i start getting out of bed and doing the things i need to do, i guess i don't want the people around me to think i'm better and raise their expectations because i'm still not ok. i'm coping but barely... and i think i'm a little afraid that more is going to be added/expectations will increase if people see i'm functioning again.
the part about not feeling as tired and as overwhelmed is really encouraging, especially since you've been on both sides (i probably have too. i just don't remember the other side right now). i guess i can kind of pinpoint the fear right now. i don't have the energy/strength to deal right now and i don't think i can handle anymore.
i'm kind of having an epiphany that the fear of getting better is also the depression in my head. so thanks for helping me with that