Oh, I think there is a point where it's not healthy. Only you would know about yourself, along with your T and spouse I think.

Yes, that nasty part needs to go. We all have that I think, but need to keep it in check and not allow it to be a part of us at all. What purpose does it serve?

Yes, I agree, as we become more confident in who we are, and our self worth (and value to God and others) we find less and less "need" to put others down through gossip or sarcasm...and can be more understanding and find more patience in allowing them to learn at the point of the path they are on.

Your spouse is dealing with suicidal ideation and is a professional counselor? I can see why that would be doubly difficult for him to deal with those feelings.