wow. i don't know how people find the courage to say anything to their t about it... for me... it isn't that i've done something... it is just that i am. hard to explain. i went through a period of being attracted to existential views... only trouble is that i thought they were unrealistically hopeful. existentialism minus the hope... you are left with a kind of nihilism... all this was when i was taking some time off uni with a major depressive episode, however. but i guess my fears were just more at the forefront during that time. normally i'm not so very aware of them... but it is fairly much about existence. that i exist. that is why birthdays are so hard.