thanks. fragile today. i've been feeling very fragile over these last couple weeks. we had a talk yesterday and i went to the pub for a quick pint after that... managed to leave the book i was reading on the floor in there. one of the guys was asking me how it was that doctors got involved with asylums and psychiatric disorders in the first place (before psychiatry was a speciality in medicine) and i was checking the book... then i put it on my bag and went out for a cigarette. when i went back i pulled my chair in quite close to the table and when i went to leave i squished the bag up onto my lap. the book must have fallen off the bag onto the floor. i'll have to go back today. wonder when they open? i hope i find it :-(

rationally... i know that it is acceptable to exist. i didn't choose to exist so i can't be blamed for it. i don't think anyone else has to do anything to earn their existence being acceptable. (thats why i'm opposed to the death penalty but at any rate) rationally...

but that doesn't seem to help with the feelings...

does not. maybe it helps some people... not me. i don't know why.