Like Chris, I think it entirely depends on the context in which it is said and on the individual relationship between the client and the T. If a client clearly has attachment/transference issues, I agree that it would be unhelpful to trigger those issues with that kind of statement. It may also simply be untrue in many cases. However, there are definitely circumstances in which I think saying "I love you" to a client is appropriate. After years of working closely with a client, developing a secure attachment, and establishing healthy boundaries, I think saying "I love you" may be both genuine and an affirming recognition of the work that has been done together.

While my T has never said "I love you," she has said "I care about you very deeply" and "I feel a great deal of tenderness towards you." She also hugs me at the end of every session, and treats me very warmly. Because I have a secure attachment with my T and no desire for a relationship with her beyond that of client/T, saying/doing those things does not create a transference issue or a sense of dependency. Rather, because she says things like "I care about you" in a spontaneous and heartfelt way when I'm struggling and in need of nurturance, it helps me feel "noticed" and it gives me some of what I needed. I takes these comments at face value and don't feel any need to "analyze" what they mean. It also makes no difference to me whether T says "I care about you" or "I love you" or any other similar variation. In our particular T/client relationship, I think it is only be a matter of semantics.

I love my T because of all of the ways she has helped me over the past 3 years and because of the strong therapy relationship we've built-- and I believe she loves me back. Whether or not she uses the word "love," I believe that she relates to me and helps me from a place of love. Yes, it is her job and I'm grateful for that-- because I need to have at least one "one-way" relationship in my life where I can get taken care of without having to take care of her in return. I just don't think that being her job prevents her from feeling love towards me, nor do I think feeling love in the context of a T/client relationship is inappropriate. As a student, I've felt platonic love for a couple of my professors over the years and, as a professor myself now, I've felt platonic love for a couple of students over the years, too. I think love often does develop in "the caring professions" and in mentoring relationships, and I think that's part of what makes us human and, often, what makes us good at our jobs. I think being invested in a client (or student) often makes us better at what we do. I also think a good T will have the insight to know if/when it is appropriate to express that love or caring to a client.