In the past (for better or worse) I would just try to get through the day. I think learning to be gentle on myself is the best thing. It was actually this random lady who stopped me once and said she felt compelled to tell me to "be my own fluffy duck" and that she thought I was the type to run around caring for others and never care for myself.

Before meds I used red wine, before red wine I used art... Now my creativity is long gone.

And when had I had/have thoughts to end it all I set an end date and say to be fair to my family I'll try not to but if it's still this hard by this time I can do it. I find it comforting (the date is years away though).

Now that I'm older wiser and medicated I go see my doc when I start to feel off as I know of I get really down or up I have no insight and think I made bp up. Also working a 4 day week helps. My doc has been great though and seems to be able to fix me up pretty quickly.