my pdoc has said i love you maybe 3 times in our time together. hes been my pdoc sine i was 16 and im 26 now. well he stopped being my pdoc about 3 years ago when i entered a community residential program. he paid for me to go there so he couldnt work with me anymore, but we still keep in touch via text and handwritten letters. at the beginning of the year he sent me a check for 3,000$ in the mail. i was so shocked and didnt know what to say. he said he was paying it forward from a time someone in his past really helped him out financially. what he didnt know was that at the time iw as starving broke, no money at all, and eating cat food when i couldnt handle the stomach pains anymore. i ate a rotten onion and threw up and felt even sicker. i was so gracious for te money but have always felt guilt that he feels responsible enough to pay all this money for me to get well because he sent me to an abusive teen residentail wilderness program for out of control drug addicts and teenagers when i was 16. i guess he feels that it was his fault that i got abused so badly there

if my current T said i i love you i would freak out. my former T sexually abused me and it would trigger so much. i think my current T would know not to say that to me.