Thank you so much BlueInanna.
It is very difficult and you really get it. It is time I need. Not that I want to wish my life away, but I want to get over him. I do want a life with my husband who I really do love very much. After 20 years with one man...my hubby (including the going out before we got married) the hot sex fades...yes its normal...so no wonder I am in a state of turmoil that started off with a bipolar manic hyper sexual moment and turned into this!!! SIGH!!! Now all I seem to want is that sex!!! I wish it was crappy sex and it would be a mistake that I could have gotten over much easier. I know being friends is prolonging the hurt but I am just not at that point yet...I am taking him out for dinner for his birthday next week. Yah!!! IDIOT!!! Something is not sinking in my brain. Mental Block! Not getting it! AHHH!!!