Thank you all so much for your replies. She has me feeling so repulsed by myself and I spiraled into some extreme self hate. It's horrible. I wish people understood I would never, EVER act on these thoughts. I have trouble killing insects that make their way into my room, I doubt I am ever going to walk over to a dog and kick it even though it's an intrusive thought.

I wrote down all my intrusive thoughts and then I connected them to my fears and why they become so obsessive and intrusive and a lot of it makes sense now. For example, I am terrified of being hit by a car. But one of my intrusive thoughts is walking into traffic. I found doing that really helped.