Hi (((Skittles)))
I'm fairly new here but not to b/p and understand all to well what it's like to lose it like that and not have any control over it.
It's so scary and if your like me when it's over I sit there and think about all I said and did and wonder how the words and behavior even came from me, even knowing it's the illness not me doesn't make it any easier.
Working jobs you really can't stand and for very little pay makes it hard to try and stay in control, I did it most of my life and then on top of it working with the public!
I hope that your feeling better now and that soon you will be able to find a better paying job that you like.
Laverene