Hey all,

I'm struggling right now with getting the correct DX.

My family's history is unclear. You see, my mom won't ever admit to ANY imperfections. My sister believes she is paranoid, narcissistic, and probably has problems with depression. She also said that our grandmother (my mom's side) was the same way. I don't remember as much about my grandmother because I was much younger when she died.

What I do remember is her telling me stories and at the end of it saying stuff like "I saw an angel". Or, "I see angels around you."

Apparently she had a "nervous breakdown" where she was hospitalized for 3 weeks. But I don't have any more details on that. My mom said she was too young to remember what happened. Which I question, was she too young or just doesn't "want" to remember.

I was DX'd with major depression a couple years ago following a pretty traumatic event in my life. However, I always thought I was messed up before that. Now, I'm back in therapy again for what my primary care doc thought was BP, but my pdoc is suggesting is comorbid personality disorders.

I have not had auditory or visual hallucinations, at least, not that I can remember. I did have several experiences where I would hallucinate when taking marijuana. That was more than 10 years ago though.

Recently, my mind seems to be degenerating. I know I have thought disorder. I can't speak for crap, especially in the work place. If someone even asks me a simple question, it takes me forever to answer. There will be periods were I just blank for 5 seconds or more, and there are just times when I stumbled and simply cannot graspy one of the gazillion thoughts racing in my head. I also mix up words and syllables a lot.

I get paranoid a lot. Lately I've been getting paranoid that people are following me home at night. There IS an actual car behind me, but for some reason I believe they are a threat and are following me. I drive faster and take evasive action...alternate routes, etc.

I also feel like people might be conspiring against me, or collecting information, monitoring me. Sometimes I believe even those closest to me are plotting to get me.

I dunno, I'm just rambling now...just throwing it out there.