It is another thing to actually get all the private stuff That's my current problem, I've wrote her well over 100 pages (Single spaced, 10 font)about my history of food issues, rants, trying to reason with her that food is not a requirement to life, and all other types of things along the lines with food. At this point I actually have to speak about it and I don't want to clam up. Maybe I'm okay about this only because there maybe something else I should talk about, OR I'm trying to find something more importation? I don't know but I've mastered the ability to distract myself and others from 'real' issues.

I hope you can find a way to talk more about your eating with your T because it sounds like you are concerned I'm not but T and Husband seems to be, I think I worry the BP board at times.

Why do you allow that? When I was pregnant with my son needed food. It grew to I try not to have full out arguments around my son. This is the only thing our son sees us argue about. We only have all out wars when I'm manic or mixed.

I would address the issue of your husband not letting you control your own choices and actions, and how that affects your marriage... Both my T and his T have addressed this. My T has even told him "look she has had this long before you, and will have this long after you if you push her." (It's not like I haven't dropped everyone and just took off because they were all concerned). He get's "Is she talking to her T & pdoc? ... then let them handle it" from his T. I'm fine with others it doesn't effect our relationship because they accept "No thank-you"

It just seem that whenever it turns to about me and my ED I think the longest actual IRL was at most 5 min. last time that wasn't a complete"word vomit" session
your eating disorder in relation to your health and "eating"? I told her when my test results came back from the "lets see the damage I've done in the past 5 years" test.

I did look at the books online. Did you find them triggering?