Gave me tears too. I am so sorry for the way your family has mistreated you. You deserve better than that. I too have next to no family. Have been disowned by most of them. And while sometimes it does hurt, they are not people who I would want close to me or my kids. I think I feel lonely in the general sense of not having grandparents, father, any cousins or aunts and unckles etc. But not really lonely for the ones that cast me off, if that makes sense. It's been many years for me tho. In general they were not the nicest people unless you have something they want, and I don't have what they want.

Does your boyfriend have family that you could become closer with? My boyfriends family has been great about accepting my kids and myself into their family. And tho no it's not the same, in some ways it's better. I know they like me for the person I am and not because they just feel obligated ( like I know most of my family would). They don't live close to us but I imagine if they did we would be closer. Maybe that is something you could have.

And you do have your own little family. And that's a good thing... you can show your kids what family is really about. They can go on to model the same for their children...creating a healthier stronger bond for the next generations of your family. I have to try to see that as well.

But I am sorry, you deserve compassion and love from your family.