I am new in this forum and I just read your post along with some of the other posts responding to you. I don't like hearing anyone feeling like your feeling. I've had those feelings myself and I've been "on the edge" before and I know that dark place. PLEASE, PLEASE find a place that you can hold onto that you remember giving you pleasure, happiness, good feelings...good memories. Those memories are in you just as the dark ones are. Bring those out now. Hold onto that and remember that these feelings go away just as they came. I don't mean to preach to you, I'm just trying to give you what helped for me. I had to reach way down inside through the tears and pain and lonliness and do it for ME....Do it for YOU. YOU are worth it. Your life is yours and you deserve a life. It's work but it's worth it. People can help, but you need to reach out for that help. Good luck and please stay with us! We want you to.