I wish my friend would treat me but it would be a conflict in interest. She also knows too much about me too. As for the substance abuse, let me repeat. The only substance I am inclined to abuse is opiates, which I rarely come across any ways. I do drink alcohol but do not abuse it and have no plans to stop even if Jesus Christ appeared in person and told me to stop because I do not drink that much. As for the benzo's they are the only med that reduces my anxiety and I have tried them all too! I take low doeses and never abuse them, as I do not consider them a drug to get "high" on. There is no euphoria, it does not release any dopamine, it is a sedative and relaxes me. If I were to abuse benzos they would simply put me to sleep. That is not a high. Ther adderall has the highest success rate with adhd patients, there are others but all are amphetamines, any non-amphetimine is on the line of wellbutrin and has the same effect as a placibo. Even my doc friend admits this. Also, she know's the only drug I can not be trusted with are opiates, but she knows me! Other docs would not know me as well or be as confident in me. She is in effect trying to maintain being a professional by recommending I come clean but at the same time understands why I would not. She knows I would not abuse adderall or whatever they gave me, just as I do not abuse benzos. If all I wanted was to get high I could buy any thing I want off the streets and it would be so much easier and faster then jumping thru all these stupid hoops for retarded doctors that really are only concerned with malpractice insurance. My friend already knows what I plan on doing and she is still my friend.