To this point I have thought many thoughts and felt many impulses that are insane or wreckless. Today my doc told me to do IOP, which I really don't want to do. But, while I feel ****ing amazing, I am afraid I am going to do something crazy. I really am wanting to drive to another state tonight while I'm not sleeping; I've also considdered leaving my amazing husband. I just have to ****ing do something to get rid of this...this, you know, energy is an understatement. So, while I feel ****ing amazing, I am terrified I will do something very stupid. Also, I'm feeling like **** because my doc thinks I am unsafe to be with my kids by myself right now.