There are no simple answers to the question (how do I trust my feelings) that you ask. Lots of us here have spent years (in my case decades) in therapy and still don't have a clear and concise answer for that one. My advice, if you want it, is to get yourself into therapy. That is the one person in my life who I trust to tell me the truth. If I am not sure that I can trust what I am feeling, then I discuss it with her and she guides me. As she validates my feelings more and more, then I learn to begin to trust my feelings more and more. But as I said, this has been a long process and it continues still. Good luck to you and I hope that you find what you need here.