With figuring out what is wrong with me and labeling myself. My mind tells me I can't make progress without understanding the problem first. I was going down one path with my T, and then my crazy experience with the pdoc has me going down another path.

I don't know if I'm BP, PPD, NPD, IED, SPD, SAD or what?!

Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me and I don't have any of these disorders, maybe it's all in my head! The wait and frustration is driving me crazy!

I'm totally obsessed with figuring it out. I spend hours a day at work taking different screening tests. When my primary care physician said that I'm probably BP, I was obsessed with taking self-tests on that, and I seemed to fit the bill. My T and I were going down that road, and talking about things that also fit that bill. But when I finally saw my Pdoc, she suggested personality disorders are more likely, and maybe I'm actually just depressed because of them. This is the third time I've switched meds now, (Now on Effexor and Depakote ER) and I've never received a definitive diagnosis.

BP screening tests online suggest BP. Personality Disorder online tests suggest Paranoia. But are these results simply skewed because I'm freaking out right now?

How do we effectively treat the problem without knowing what it is? This goes against my nature. I am an engineer by profession and am very analytical and methodical in my personality. In my line a work I can't solve a problem without knowing what the problem is.

I know this isn't an exact science, but wouldn't a little more research be done, than just an hour long visit before prescribing meds?

I can't take this. The confusion, the changes, the volitality...the uncertainty of it all.