Lots of luck with this, you are going through some difficult stuff, don't lose faith, getting through this does take patience, about 6yrs ago my patience with myself and treatment was so rough, but I found having a little at a time has helped me forge on.
The impossible can become the possible, in time.
I admire you very much for making the step(s) to eventually reach things that are possible and have faith, so much is possible in time.
I'm rooting for you, don't give up on yourself and treatment.
Many good wishes for luck and innerpeace.
DE