Well your husband sounds unforgiving and overly critical. At the moment it sounds like her wants to be "the boss" and "control" you.

It may be that things are permanently messed up between you and your husband (but sounds like he is the one with grudges and that won't let go).

My suggestion is, don't tolerate being made feel worthless by ANYONE, even you husband of 15 years. However try communicating in a CALM way what you feel, there is a small possibility it may help.