I've felt screwed up to some degree my whole life, didn't go to the doc until a couple years ago after a traumatic event sent me spiraling downward.

My meds have switched three times because...

I was on Lexapro (started 2 years ago)...different doctor (I moved) said I should do Celexa (over a year ago) because it's cheaper. I made the switch...everything seemed to go ok.

6 months ago, I quit smoking...everything went ok...

2 months ago I was having a lot of trouble....uncontrollable rage, panic attacks, massive paranoia and delusional thoughts, and a lot more.

I went to see my primary care doc, I still had never seen a pdoc at this point.

Everything seemed unprovoked and he evaluated me...he suggested I may have BP. He added Valproic Acid (Depakote) to my regimen.

I started seeing a T (6-7 weeks ago). He is great and I am very greatful to be able to talk to him. In our sessions we explored some of the different aspects of BP and I kind convinced myself that's thats what it is. I started coping with BP. I was looking forward, after a long wait to finally see the pdoc (Jan 3rd) and get that re-assurance.

Visit with pdoc didn't go well at ALL. See my thread in the BP section. I just felt like a muddy mess after it. Seems like she's really adement on lumping me into a personality disorder or group of disorders. We didn't even discuss anything in detail about my younger days! We pretty much focused on the last 2 years, since I've been taking meds.

One of the things that seemed to really bother her was my slow speech and poor responses. So now, I'm on Depakote ER and Effexor, which are suppose to have less of a flattening effect.

That's what has me all confused...I'm starting to go down one path...feeling good...then BAM! There's a roadblock that sends me on a detour down another path and I don't know what to do.