Haven't wanted to admit it to anyone, but I b/p twice in one day on Saturday. Haven't done that in 20 months.

I know what set it off, physical exhaustion and a looming deadline that I couldn't miss, but I am still mad at myself and dejected. All the binge urges came rushing back, so that now I have to really work hard to stay in control, whereas before Saturday, it was all good.

I know I will get over this hurdle.
I know that recovery isn't a straight line.
I know that it doesn't change who I am to my friends or God

But I'm still upset and disappointed. Please send hugs.

Bub

PS, 9000 miles away from T for another 4 weeks.
PPS, I have to get into a bathing suit in 2 weeks.