My schitzo affective i think holds me back from meeting new people and hanging on to old ones. I lost all of them when i was dignosed, i don't know if it made any difference, but i though at the time my friends were ashamed to be seen with me, that was what I thought. I don't want people judging me, so i stay as much away from people in new situations as much as possible. I don't know if it really matters or not but i did lose most of my friends when i got into a relationship with my ex and had a child by him, he is also mentally ill, put me through soo much, i lost all conact with all my friends because i basically dumped all my good friends and we all just lost contact because i wasn't around anymore because I changed my whole social life by not communicating anymore. Lastly i am married now for 18 years this month, to a different guy, not to my ex.