i think you also owe it to those children to teach them boundaries. It is beneficial to them, even if they're upset, to know that there are boundaries. Just because they need to be sent from the room does not mean that you are mad at them, that they are bad, etc. it is also a great way for them to learn that boundaries can be put in place with the adult still caring for them and respecting them at the same time, which it sounds like you do.

We will think about writing out that list. It has been a hard week for any quiet thinking as I am visiting family and there are so many people coming and going. I kind of know what I want to tell her, I just need to find a way to be firm and open at the same time. I might start along the lines of her saying this caused a big reaction, which could have been avoided had she let me help her when I offered to, that I can tell her a lot about H that H herself wouldn't be able to say, but that H is proud of me for saying.

I must say it is really difficult when someone you trust and being to respect and like hurst you. I feel so mixed up about it. Luckily things usually feel better when I'm able to talk about them with the person.

A thought about the you say I hear stuff....I think framing it that way in your mind, even if you don't say it right away to your t could help you be able to talk to him when you feel ready to, without stressing about how it will come out.

Thanks again, dear!!