I am now aging (60), but your post brings back so much that I still grapple with. Although my parents did not divorce, they also were emotionally unavailable and did not provide needed information to me or my brother. This was very confusing for many years because they were both well educated and had their own lives well organized. They just weren't "there". Over time, I learned that much of this had to do with a kind of underground passive-aggressive anger they had with each other. (no, we couldn't "see" it out loud, but there was "something wrong" though all "looked nice"---superficially.
Sometimes, my father acted out violently against me (only me until I left home...then my brother) but no one would believe that, the man was so kind, so mild in his relations with others...
I learned much later, my mother gave "great advice" and "listened" to friends of mine, and even cousins that I never was allowed to get to know.
In the end, I took care of my mother for 6yrs, my brother had taken his life, my father then died, and she had (a sudden discovery as my father covered for her) dementia.
I recommend you FIND a good strong, and Warm, female support, whether in a therapist (shop around for one who feels right), an older, trusted female (teacher/coach/the mother of a friend/mother in law if that works...) and that you get involved if you can in local community education (eg: cooking classes, household finance, etc---things I did not do because I was so confused and could not identify what was wrong for so long. Best to you! It sounds as though you, although hurt and feeling a bit lost, know what you need, which will make it easier to find what you do need.