Hello everyone.
I'm very new to this site, but I was wanting to see if I couldn't get some advice from you guys for my situation.

I have been dating this very nice girl for little over 10 months now, and I have to say, considering how "slow" we've planned on taking our relationship from the beginning, we've done so much together. I love her dearly, and she appears to feel the same for me.
She's a High School Teacher, a Dance Line Coach for a Middle School, and just an all round loving woman.
I feel that we are open enough to eachother to talk about just about anything, and she seems very understanding and supportive, but there's just one thing about me, that I just can't work up the nerve to talk to her about, that has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember...
I am considered a "DL." A Diaper Lover...
I do not regress to acting like an infant. I do not "use" diapers for their intended reasons.
It's more of a comfort and fetish...

I grew up in a loving home, both parents are still together. I began my life as a military brat, my dad was in the Air Force.
I grew up in a non-abusive but very well disciplined surrounding.

As an adult, I work on airplanes, I have a project car I have been working on, I love working with tools, I love the outdoors.
I would like to believe I'm a bit of a "Man's man."
So that's pretty much the outlook my girlfriend has of me... I appear to be a normal guy with guy-type hobbies, but I still have a soft side. I'm gentle with her. I tell her how beautiful she is, I get somewhat emotional when I speak about her and to her from the heart.
She's my baby, and I let her know that.
I've been wanting to tell her about my "DL" side since the day we first met, but I get so scared of loosing her, I cant work up the nerve.

I mean... How do you tell someone who appears to be as normal as they get that the guy she has been dating for 10 months has a Diaper Fetish, and enjoys wearing for the comfort??

The last two girls I've dated that I've told left me soon afterwards.
One girl I dated for 6 years, completely lost all respect, love, feelings for me the moment I opened up to her...
the other girl seemed supportive, and even participated sexually on occasions. Even encouraged me to wear, thought I "needed" to wear because I did sleep better. She was really cool about it, but then right out of the blue, she lost all interest, and left me quicker than I was ready...
Now I have this mental anguish and fear that my desire/fetish, that wont seem to go away, will doom any relationship I ever have if I choose to open up about it.

I don't know what it is about adult diapers that I enjoy so much... I am not a child person... to be honest, I'm not a fan of kids.
I have so much hate and ill-will towards those who are pedophiles...
I just enjoy the look, feel, noise, and the somewhat feeling of ease I get when I wear.
It seems to be a good coping device for stress, helping me feel relaxed. I sleep better when I wear a diaper, too.
I do get turned on my diapers. I've been curious about having sexual experiences with a girl willing to participate, but I feel so alone in my interest.

Yes, I'm aware of Diaper Lover Communities online, and I've have had conversations within those communities, but I even feel out of place there, because it seems that to have such a fetish, you have to be all or nothing...
I feel awkward even thinking of acting like a baby... I find that to be an uncomfortable idea. I find it pretty gross to "use" the diapers... I would much rather just got to the bathroom like an adult.

To me, an adult diaper is nothing more than a somewhat sexual stimulant that is far more comfortable than any other type of underwear. A means of relaxing.

Am I screwed up in the head? Should I keep this to myself and seek counseling? Do I just risk my beautiful relationship, and just tell her, and if so, who could I tell her without dropping such a heavy load on her?