I can't explain but where I am going there are whales plenty of them and no humans which is perfect. I long to hear their snuffles and see them crash into the depths I figured I'd join them . the water is arctic , no time once in it. I would float here a la Milais " Ophelia" but they would pull me out. even though sometimes she has her ear resting behind my shoulder and spits water on my back. I'm very tired of fighting , accepting what is infront of my eyes........I am so ready. Breathing hurts.