When I worked retail, both in New England and the Midwest, I used "Miss" for women that looked close to my age or younger and "ma'am" for anyone that looked closer to my mom's age. It was my way of being respectful and polite. At the time, I wasn't cognizant of wedding rings.
I haven't experienced the Miss versus Mrs issue, but if I did, I would not appreciate it. I am most definitely a Mrs. When I write letters to my unmarried aunt, I address them to Ms. Roman's Aunt. I see it as a distinction that she is a mature woman. I also use Ms. for my married cousins that kept their maiden names.
In waiting rooms, people generally call my first name because both of my last names have been difficult to pronounce. Luckily, I have an easy to pronounce first name. My mom wasn't as lucky and her name just gets butchered every which way.
For me, young lady wasn't generally used when I was in trouble. My mom would use our full name (hah, usually with Miss in front of it!) or "Babe." Like... "You better listen to me, babe." But I also got a lot of "young lady" as compliments -- "Aren't you just growing up in to a fine young lady?" I can't remember the last time someone called me young lady, so it either hasn't happened recently or it just didn't leave an impression on me. I'll definitely notice it the next time, though, after this!
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