Hi Choocha, I was reading your post and then read Moxie's and they both struck a nerve with me. I have had this my entire life! I am 50 now but people tell me that I don't look over 30 (loving that part!) because I absolutely obsess over my skin and taking care of what I look like but the "funny" part about all this, is that I've been fully functioning like this my whole life! I have gone through tough times with it (anorexia), hospitalized for it briefly, suffer with weight loss off & on all the time. I go from 96 to my highest weight, about 110. Now I'm a healthy 103! I always have to have makeup and something "nice" on, and my hair washed and combed out or put up...EVERY DAY. As I'm typing this out, it sounds absolutley exhausting but it's been my daily routine my whole life and it always will be. I start the minute I wake up, even when I wake up in the middle of the night to pee, I check in the mirror, brush my teeth, wash myself secretly, brush my hair, it's a ritual that I guess I do that I've never even realized. I don't think I can be happy throwing all that out the window because it's me. I have gone without makeup for a bit, wearing just sweats, tossing my hair back and just chilling. I didn't feel like me and I kind of felt like hiding. I've spoken to therapists about this and medications just hit me the wrong way, but that's just me. I chose to keep this as me as long as I'm functioning and happy and I am. I'm not sick or dysfunctional and it doesn't harm myself or anyone else. I hope this is useful to you in some way.