I spent much of my teen years in and out of hospitals, my mom would send me to them.. I lived with my grandparents and it was the only time she was really involved in my life. I was a "troubled teen" I guess, but I don't remember doing anything THAT bad.. mostly I just skipped class, smoked pot and hung out with people who my mom thought were a bad crowd. I got put in a residential treatment facility when I was 16 and was there for a YEAR and it was AWFUL. We couldn't leave the building aside from going to school, which was at a different building on campus. If we went outside it was in a small courtyard area that was surrounded by a giant fence. We spent the majority of our time in a small living area that had a couch, some chairs and a TV... there was NOTHING to do besides watch non-cable TV, the same PG 13 movies which were mostly Adam Sandler, listen to the radio, draw, read, write or play cards. We didn't have groups and I only saw my therapist once a month for maybe 15 minutes at a time because she wasn't doing her job right. They had me on EIGHT different medications, including an inhaler for asthma and I have no idea why because I have never had asthma. Our bedroom doors locked and everything was metal and bolted to the ground and we didn't have drawers because they could be used a weapons. I was awarded home passes towards the end of my stay (about 10-11 months later) and I had to do a drug test when I came back, I dropped dirty twice, they said Valium was in my system and if I dropped dirty again then I wouldn't be able to leave. I KNOW I didn't take any Valium.. I mean I how could I even get it? I couldn't leave my house when on home passes and there was a staff there. The only way it could've gotten into my system is if they did something to my medication, which I strongly believe they did. I decided to just not go on any home passes and suck it up till I could finally go home. This happened to some other girls who were also getting ready to leave, one girls parents threatened to sue and they didn't do anything, the other girl didn't have parents and was on her way to semi-independent living but they wound up sending her to a more restricted facility instead. I'm telling you that place was corrupt. Again, I was in there for a year, mostly for skipping school which is so stupid to me because I was legally old enough to drop out but they acted like I had committed a crime. I'm also certain that being confined for so long contributed greatly to my social anxiety. I had a real hard time adjusting back to normal society.. I was afraid to talk and interact with people, like even buying something from the gas station made me nervous. I was afraid to leave my house alone, I couldn't even go around the block by myself. I didn't reconnect with any of my friends.. I just isolated myself till I eventually got a boyfriend (we met through MySpace.) and he forced me out of my shell a little. But yeah... I HATE hospitals, I HATE being confined... and for years I had zero trust for mental health professionals. It's only been within the past 2 years I've been able to seek out mental health treatment willingly. Although I'll avoid hospitals at all costs, even if things are really bad. The last time I was hospitalized was in 2010.. I threw a plate on the floor and my family called the cops and the cop said I was very emotional and took me to the hospital. They wouldn't let me leave because I expressed homicidal thoughts. I tried walking out on my own but a security guard stopped me.. it took like 6 people to subdue me, I was spitting.. it was bad. I was there for Christmas and someone stole my leather jacket. Oh and I have a hospital bill for like $3,000... like how the **** are they gonna send me a hospital bill when I didn't even want to be there in the first place?! I was hospitalized I think two other times before that, although I actually "needed" to be hospitalized because I was in a full blown psychotic state and needed medication to get stabilized. Although I know what my triggers are now and can cope with things better, I also have a therapist.. no meds though, most SSRI's don't work for me and I don't like the side effects. I hope I never have to go to a hospital ever again.