Thanks to all of you.
I had my meds up recently as I had fallen back into a depression which has helped somewhat.
Honestly, I think I'm just trying to recover from a two week visit of my husbands's brother and girlfriend.
Both my boys have their birthdays coming up. I feel like a terrible mother admitting this but their birthdays send me into a tail spin. I think it may have something to do with the feelings of dark depression i had when I was pregnant but could not tell anyone.

I also have a new show coming up in my gallery here. The artist in question is particularly needy, though I can understand her worries. I also somehow volunteered myself to do the choir promotional literature, I was having a very outgoing moment.
Oh,and I have a wrap party to organise for the end of October.
I think I'm a little overwhelmed.
It scares me though, my plan is becoming more final. I know I'm becoming more irresponsible like driving a little too fast without a seatbelt.
I miss my old T who I used to do DBt. I could be honest with her. Now I hide or am at a lack of words to say how I really feel to my psych. Not having that input has left me very lonely. My husband has been difficult of late, ( I know he doesn't mean it).
Now I think about my journey everyday. Yesterday I got to a motel and then turned around. Each time it becomes more realistic. I should find something else all encompassing to occupy my mind. But it's like a virus,the thoughts are just spiralling.