Quote:
Originally Posted by RomanSunburn
Hello! Welcome to PsychCentral!
Unfortunately, I know very little about your fetish and honestly can't tell you what I would do in you or your girlfriend's position.
I was wondering, though, if this fetish has to do with the desire to be taken care of? You say your outward image is of a "man's man," and I think that comes with a lot of responsibility. I guess when I think of a man's man, it's a take charge type of guy, quick with decisions, strong, able to take care of yourself, your partner, your best friend, the poor and the hungry, everyone.
Ignorance has a lot to do with fear, and I wonder if you could explain why it appeals to you if it would become less intimidating for your partner? It sounds like you're not very comfortable with it yourself, and I wonder if your partners are picking up on that and it makes them uncomfortable also? It also sounds like you're not exactly secure with your identity, like you see yourself as two separate people. You might find it useful to talk to a counselor about that and build some self esteem about who you are.
I'm sorry I can't be of much help. I hope you can find the answer that is right for you and that things will work out and lead to your happiness. And again, welcome to PC!  |
Thanks for the reply!
Well, you see, I don't believe that I want to be taken care of, to be honest.
I've always enjoyed the feeling of being in control (but I am not a control freak), and being a care taker, so to speak.
The moment I see my girlfriend upset about anything, or just having a rough time dealing with work or whatever, I always feel the need to comfort her in someway, sometimes feeling somewhat guilty if I can't help her with problems that may come up.
Honestly, I can't explain the reasons for my fetish... I believe my up bringing was fairly equal in regards to love, family involvement, friendships, mother/son bonding, father/son bonding... As a child I don't believe I was deprived a curtain need that could result in this... It's literally like I have always been programmed to want to wear.
I thought that maybe I was forced into potty-training at to young an age, but I don't think that would have anything to do with it because my attachment is only with the diapers themselves... I don't feel the desire to... "use" them... Which I'm glad for that... lol
You're right that I'm not to comfortable with my fetish... It's like I'm sane enough to know it's weird and very taboo, but the fact that I can't shake the desires, it just drives me crazy sometimes... If it was truly up to me, I wouldn't WANT to wear, but it's hardwired...
A part of me feels I should just accept it for what it is... It's just a part of me, and I truly enjoy it.
I tell myself all the time that it's hurting no one, and that there is no harm in it. But my past relationships have proven otherwise... Both say the diapers were the real reasons for leaving me, but I can't help but believe it was.
With that in mind, I just can't take the rejection for a 3rd time...
It's embarrassing to have to admit that at 29 years old with no physical or major mental disorders, I like to wear diapers, and I get sexually turn on by them... I find it somewhat pathetic...
... but I have society to blame for that... not myself...
I would be more than ok with this if so many people didn't relate it to mental illnesses, being a pedophile, or they just find it plan disgusting.
Having the only two people I ever told in person about this basically disappear soon afterwards don't help matters either...
I have thought about counseling off and on throughout my early adulthood, but I'm not convinced that I will get good results...
I would more than likely be recommended to see a psychologist, to which I'm to to explain to him that I fought with my dad from time to time, despite the fact that he's like my best friend, and he's going to say that's the cause... I'll have some "daddy issues" and he'll recommend anti-depressants or something... lol
I over analyze everything... My biggest problem is, I expect the worst outcome in every situation... I understand that's a big problem.