hi
I feel pretty down on my body too at the moment but I dont want to lose weight to the point of being underweight anymore.I think I have done irreversable damage to my heart-I am getting it checked out .I have chest pain all the time.Heart failure is a major risk if you are anorexic for a long time.I also have osteoparosis,because I didnt have periods for about 15 years.so now one of the vertebrae in my back has eroded and I have bad back pain and have to be careful with it.So yeah I was anorexic for 15 years and paid a price (I never thought I was really injuring myself).I also have major receding of the gums and my teeth will probably fall out soon.also have liver disease but thats not from the E.D.yeah we only have one body ,its precious ,its gotta last,its gotta be strong.I know logic doesnt really come into it when anorexia rules,but dont let it beat you.I dont want it to beat me.(but I am struggling with bulimia and overeating now)I need to accept my normal weight coz this is me this is my healthy weight.and anyway if I am thin then people see me differently-not the real me ,the natural me ,then they expect me to be thin all the time...do you know what i mean and its a lie.so I guess I have to try to accept myself like this and face the music -face people-that have seen me thin before and if they dont like it ,too bad,move on find some other friends .dont let it kill you and take away your life coz thats all anorexia wants to do .maybe try eating 3 normal meals.try to be very loving and kind to yourself.sorry i am blabbering a bit.take care
blueflower