I have trouble with textbooks, only because I "have" to read them; I love to read and might well pick up the textbook and read it on my own but when it is assigned, forget it

I would not worry about what you love/don't love but your interactions with the rest of the world. We can easily get things set up and well-imagined in our heads and hearts but if they aren't "reality" there is going to be conflict. It has taken me a great deal of time (I'm 63) but I figured out how to set up my loves and studying them for myself, getting around the assigned textbooks, over or through them if absolutely necessary (tests wholly based on them) by making things work for me instead of being dependent on what someone else wants. School is a guide, we have to learn the principals of things, the basics and that is not fun or what we imagine a subject to be like; it's like practicing scales, you have to do it or you can't play music well. Sure one has a good "ear" but we can't do it all on our own, we need to be grounded in the basics of reality first.