Hello everyone!

I had a pretty severe depression this year from about February to May, and I decided to start an antidepressant, paroxetine. After about 5-6 weeks of taking it, and upping the dose from 10mg to 20mg I slowly started to feel fine. I was okay for a while, but then I went hypomanic, stopped the med, but it was too late, and I went into full mania and had to be hospitalized for 4 weeks. They put me on Depakene, Olanzapine, Betaloc and lots of xanax. For about 1 and a half month after the hospitalization I felt sort of okay, so we decreased the dosage of all the drugs. When I stopped taking olanzapine, I went into full depression, so severe, I have never had in my life. after 2 weeks I was put back on 5mg per night. This was just 3-4 days ago. I met my psychiatrist and she just started to put me on lamotrigine (lamolep) and slowly changing from depakene to lamolep. I'm currently on 300mg depakene and 12,5mg lamolep.
My question is, was I too long on depakene? I've been kind of low for the last month, she shouldve made this change faster.. Now I have to wait until it builds up. My other question is, is it clear now, that I have bipolar? My mania was triggered by the anti-depressant, no question about it, I have never wouldve had it if I don't take it. But I felt so bad, I felt like I have no other choice.

For the more experienced people out there, can you help me? What are the outlooks on the near and far future? Will lamictal help me to be normal again? will it cause hypomania and mania? Am I sick, or am I healthy?
It feels so bad to be stuck in this depression again, I want to be out of it so badly. I unfortunately don't have a job, I have a girlfriend, but I'm afraid my illness is really affecting our relationship, and I want to be better ASAP.

I also went to therapy regularly but my therapist insisted me to go into somekind of a psychotherapic hospital, where I can stay and have group and solo sessions until the meds build up, but I didn't go there, because I want to live a normal life, and I want to be healthy, I don't feel like this whole ordeal is caused by me, I feel like it's "happening to me".

My mom keeps telling me, that I became depressed because they gave me the depakene for too long, and she says I should quit all meds, because the meds are making me depressed.
I don't want to rely only on meds, but I've heard good stuff about this lamotrigine, and I feel like at this time I couldn't cope without the meds.

The mania episode was horrible enough, I didn't expect a huge depression to come afterwards. Can you guys give me some insights? I know it's different for everyone, but I just feel so alone and hopeless with this right now.

Also, if I had mania, is it gonna come back even if I'm not taking anti-depressants?

thank you very much!
love!