It is hard to ask for help , especially when the ED takes control and tries to tell us to keep going with the disordered behaviors. I think it is great that you reached out to your T! You should be very proud of yourself for that and it is natural to be scared. I opened up a lot to my T yesterday about my ED and what I've been doing and that was very scary but I felt a lot better after. I'm still scared because the behaviors continue but I know I need to keep being honest and talk about it with my T. Fighting an ED is not an overnight process even though I wish it were. I hope you will not be too hard on yourself and that you will keep reaching out to your T for help no matter how scared you are. They are there to help us!