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Old Oct 16, 2013, 01:05 PM
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NWgirl2013 NWgirl2013 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: Between A Rock & A Hard Place
Posts: 2,270
Quote:
Originally Posted by sick of it all View Post
so I am assuming the only reason you stay with him is because you must love him regardless of what you hate about him am I correct?
Not hate. I cannot hate him for being who he is. I am disappointed about some aspects of this though.
I am outgoing and I do get out & get going. I dislike when he tries to interfere or dissuade me from being with others. His usual m.o. is to bad mouth, especially new people, or anyone I have a friendship with, or any new interest I develop. I end up having to defend & justify everything I do. So, I don't like feeling I am not supported in being who I am.

I had to learn to let that go; it is his way to control his own world. I have stopped trying to include him in my stuff because of this.

We are different. The differences were not apparent when we married. He hid this on purpose because, as he says, no one would want to be with him if they knew the disdain he feels for everyone/everything. But it is classic NarcissisticPD. He gravitated toward me to fill a void that he now knows he has no interest in filling. We are able to recognize our differences without destroying each other.
Would it have been better to know these things Before marriage? Obviously. Being your true self is always best. Who's to say we wouldn't still have married, but that knowledge would have given us tools to create a better happy medium a lot sooner.
Anyone with this temperament should face it, not hide it, so that those around them can make informed choices whether to embrace this or not.

So as far as love/hate? He knew what he was getting. I did not. I work with it, and love the lovable parts, treading lightly with the rest.
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