Hi and

to Psych Central. We have a Grief and Loss forum that you might find support and feedback. I also agree with Thunder Bow you need to see a counselor. The amount of grief and depression you are talking about could be help by a grief counselor. If you can't afford to see a therapist check in the college you are in. They usuall have a counselor for students.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin
"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha