hi kuro
You are going thru a very difficult time grieving the loss of your mother. I am sure your friends would welcome you back if you reached out to them again. as the others have said, seeking help from a counselor would be very beneficial. most colleges offer this service for free. Welcome to Psych Central. You will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. You will get a lot of support here. Again, welcome.