"i have a therapist and doctor I trust"

Great start for certain. The clutter in you immediate surroundings is no doubt directly related to the circumstances in your life that have enabled your "depression." "Depression" is in quotations because I do not , for even a minute, want to assume that I know the inner-workings of your troubles or the level of frustration that you encounter in trying to solve them. You state that you have set "simple goals" that you , however, feel unable to reach. It is a strange "paradox" ( catch 22, " order of things", "it is what it is") that feeling these goals are out of your grasp serve to keep you from harnessing the strength to set these changes in motion.

Your homestead is a mess because your mind is a tad messy. It is that simple and you need not be too critical of yourself about it.

In light of this idea, though, it may serve you well to take ahold of the idea that "doing what is uncomfortable" (in this case, just putting on your favorite record and "cleaning house" ) will, upon completion, leave you feeling strangely fulfilled and ready for the next "step". You may just be surprised that when you follow through and complete something as basic as cleaning the kitchen or porch, or organizing your spice rack, or EVEN getting rid of the empty cereal boxes that are aspiring to rival your Lego supply, that you will as a result feel inspired to continue on haven proven that it is, indeed, possible.

Peace to You

-Breezer