I suffer from schizoaffective bipolar type. The last time I went to the hospital in 1999 I was suffering from false beliefs and delusions along with the highs and lows of manic/depressive. The main content of my sufferings were demonic in nature - or at least I was obsessed and scared of demonic ideas. I wanted to be a good guy who believed and followed God, but those influences overtook my mind and I was miserable for a long time.

The doc put me on Zyprexa and Lithium, along with another bunch of meds I forgot. Today I've been on Abilify and Lithium for about 9 years.

Today I am suffering from a moderate version of what I suffered back in 1999, getting worse and worse. I have looked into seeing my doctor early, but it's all booked up. And the hospitals are all full.

I am afraid maybe I am influenced by a demon. I am very scared and don't know what to do. When I feel like there's maybe hope, I write positive posts but I'm really scared down deep.