Thanks for the help. I think my stupid panic attacks have come back, earlier when i wrote this post, my heart was thumping and i felt like life was crashing down in some ways. Thankfully I am feeling a little better now. I am so annoyed that I didn't recognize it as a panic attack...I thought I had become more self aware. I REALLY want a magic pill that keeps all the parts of me i like but erases the panic, anxiety, extreme mood changes, and lousy decision making skills. ugh. Anyhow thanks for commenting and helping me.